Monday, October 15, 2007

Dodgeball Team Kicks It Up to Staggering New Heights

Professor Pain and the Balls Busters were born this day. Where two weeks ago there cowered some bumbling, fumbling pre-dodgeballers, today there stood athletes to make Vince Vaughn proud. The opposing team, a mysterious acronym STB, stood fearfully in our midst. They played courageously despite our intimidating presence and if someone was counting carefully, it’s possible they scored more games over all. We do have to thank them for a severely amusing evening of heart-racing, spirited, and fair dodge-ball fun. We’d rather give a victory to a team of integrity than the ass-munchers who trampled us last week.

The highlights:

Jason “The Prankster” was stealthful and calculated. Many a time, holding the team afloat for three or four minutes (an eternity in dodgeball-land) all by himself.

Balls-Buster the First was off today recovering from a ridiculously long race, but her spirit lived on in each of her team mates.

Joann “The Secret Weapon” took several balls in the face like a trooper and as sweet justice picked off a few players from the opposing team. Watch for her super-spin dodgeball move with hair flying she can go four to one with the other guys without even breaking a sweat. She’s even been know to force the other team into the kamakazi-suicide-maneuver (and lived to tell about it).

Mark is “Professor Pain” and though he seems unassuming with his sweet face, he moves like a jaguar across the court. One of our favourite offense players at “face-off” time, he’s developed a cooperative “pass off” move with The Butler that deaks out the bad guys every time.

The Butler is our former Waterpolo pro and although he doesn’t feel as comfortable without his speedo, he’s got a canon for an arm and magnets for mitts making him a very valuable member of the Balls Busters.

Craig the Chemist doesn’t say much, but he’s solid like a tree and when the chips were down, he still chose to be part of Team Hillcrest, which says a lot for his character.

Delia is “The Machine”. She can bench four times her own weight, she can run circles around anyone you can throw at her and she can make mince meat out of Team STB (“Sont Très BAD” if you ask me!) She’s got us huddling and cheering and psyching out the other guys. She’s got strategy and she’s got game.

Mattie “The Flash” Magic forgets he’s not on the basketball court, so he slam DUNKS a few foam balls right down the throats of the blue-shirt dude. Solid performance even in his civilian gear (he left his cape at home today).

And me, well, I’m just thinking that Rubicon ought to feel pretty stupid for not sponsoring this fine dodgeball masterpiece. We may not have matching uniforms and we might not wear tights under our shorts, but we’ve got heart and this certainly won’t be the last you hear of us!


mao said...

Prankster and Machine were great additions to the squad!

This game was closer than 12-4 would imply. Next week, victory shall be ours!

Deaner said...

So you decided to go with Professor Pain and the Ball Busters, eh? Nice. I'll be watching for your cameo in Dodgeball 2.

(Oh, and you should try Canadian Tire for your dehumidifier. Although we have a humidifier, I grew up with DEhumidifiers....)

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