Thursday, June 12, 2008

Big Straw Hat

I was in Zellers the other day shopping for maternity underwear, when I happened across a big straw hat. I thought to myself, I am often getting too much sun in the forehead region, I ought to buy myself that hat. Then I hesitated. Certainly there must be a reason why I don’t own any such hats. I like them, but they’re not flattering on me. What if they’re dorky? What if they’re not cool?

I pictured myself gardening in my big straw hat. I thought I seemed cool to me. And I thought of my friend Jen, who is very stylin’ and SHE has a big straw hat which she looks adorable in. And finally, I thought of an episode of FRIENDS wherein Rachael bought a lovely big straw hat and it looked cute on her too. I turned over the hat and the tag read Alfred Sung. That’s GOT to be stylin’, I said to myself. I looked at the top of the hat - it had subtle silver sparkles. That's GOT to be stylin', I said to myself. There was even a cute straw bow on the side. That's GOT to be stylin', I said to myself.

So I bought it.

I wore my hat for the first time on Thursday. And my friend Mao approached me and carefully asked, while smiling, “Is that your hat?”

I said, “Yes.”

Then he said nothing, so I asked, “Why?”

And he said, “I was going to make fun, but then I thought I’d better make sure it’s not your hat.”

Later, I found Mao and I said very confidently, “Hats are IN!”

He said, “That one?”

I told Jen. She pointed out that Mao was wearing a lumberjack shirt. She said not to take fashion advice from Mao. I felt better.

Then today, I sported my hat as I walked in the late afternoon sun to the library. I was wandering around the children’s books when a 3-year-old Chinese boy at one of the preschool computers (with the colourful keyboards) turned and made a toothy attempt at smiling at me. I smiled back. Then he turned his whole body to me (I was holding my hat in my right hand) and he said, “Are you a cowboy?”

I said, “What?”

He said, “You have a cowboy hat!”

Out of the mouths of babes….

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

i'm going to get my "cowboy" hat and you're going to get yours and we're going to that library, finding that kid and ... well, nothing that comes to mind in the way of retribution is appropriate to write here.
as for mao ... i rest my case.
hats ARE in ... lumberjacks, not so much.
jen

Unknown said...

okay...so, we're all waiting eagerly for the picture here....

Matthew Oldridge said...

mao put foot firmly in mouth, where it often belongs, and it did not taste delicious, as it never does.

but mao also wears a "KC Royals" hat, for which he often gets made fun of for, but it was cheap at Winners, and it fits his enormous melon-head (shockingly, embarrassingly, can't fit a normal hat on it, big).

As for plaid workshirts...totally trendy this year!

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