Friday, January 12, 2007

Shopping for Clothes

I need clothes.

I have been on a strict budget and I tend to splurge on things like Starbucks beverages or crafty projects or running gear, but not on actual grown-up-person semi-professional go-to-work clothes. And when my second pair of jeans (out of three) sprung a hole in the crotch this week, I decided it was time to head to the mall.

And since I don’t like to drive in the dark or in the rain (and it was doing both outside), I went to the nearest mall, which is the really dumpy one with the reject stores.

First, I go into a store with really great deals! 2 pairs of jeans for $30. And I con myself into the idea that this must be a wonderfully well-kept secret. I select some pairs of jeans (two sizes for each style) and continue to peruse the stacks when I am approached by the saleswoman. And even though she asks if she can help me, I don’t get a warm feeling from her. I show her the jeans I’d like to try on and she asks me what size I’m selecting. When I tell her, she seems to approve. Then I choose a style of jean that is sized by waist size. And they don’t have any 29’s or 30’s. So I optimistically pick up a 28. The woman looks at me and looks at the jeans. Then she shakes her head and says, “No. 28’s won’t fit you!” Now she might have not said it with an exclamation mark. But it FELT like there was an exclamation mark. Especially when someone is telling you not to even TRY the 28. “But there aren’t any 29’s,” I explain. She does a quick once-over of the stack of jeans I’ve been examining, “No. We don’t sell these jeans in the BIGGER sizes.”

Anyway, I went into the changeroom and discovered why the jeans were 2 for $30. And when the woman wasn’t looking, I sneaked out of the changeroom and grabbed those 28 jeans. And as god is my witness, I squeezed my “BIGGER” ass into those jeans!

I ended up coming home with some sugar-free mints, razors and a 5 pound exercise ball.

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