Monday, October 27, 2008

The Waiting Place...

Dr. Seuss put it well in the book entitled "Oh the Places You'll Go".

He says that there is a most useless place called The Waiting Place...

"...for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for a Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting."

It's a very real place...The Waiting Place....and we've all been there.

My very good friend is trying to get pregnant. And she and I count her cycle days and then we wish for the next day and then we wish for the next day and then we wish for the day when she can take a pregnancy test. I remember playing this game too. I remember the disappointment of the negative pregnancy test and then wishing for the next cycle to come and go so I could test again.

Then I got pregnant and I thought "Good Lord What Have I Done?" I don't regret a single thing about getting pregnant, however, I do look back on all my angst and eagerness and think that I could have just been happy for where I was at that time in my life. I could have just relaxed a bit and enjoyed the ride.

Then, in the early weeks of pregnancy, you just keep wanting the weeks to go by so you can feel certain that your wee one is past the twelve-week safe zone. You want the next doctor's appointment to come and go so you can hear his or her heartbeat on the Doppler. You wait impatiently for an ultrasound so you can see his little face and hands. Then you eagerly await the first kick.

And before you even know what has happened, you find yourself with four days left of work, 38 weeks pregnant with swollen feet, no clothes that fit, aching joints and a hot water bottle perpetually glued to your lower back, wondering if this will ever be over. But any mother will tell you not to wish it away. They will tell you that you will miss this, despite how hard it is to believe. You'll miss feeling the tumbling movements and the mystique of what is causing the bony protrusion next to your navel. You'll miss the nocturnal kicks and the night-time cravings. You think you're sleep deprived now, they say. You'll miss all this glorious sleep you are able to get now. You'll love your new family, but you'll also miss all the glorious together time of just you and your spouse. You'll miss conversations about things other than diapers and the consistency of shits and sore nipples and the cost of diapers.

So, whether you find yourself wishfully on cycle day 2 with a hopeful uterus just eager to get growing or whether you find yourself potentially 15 days from a brand new family, or wherever you find yourself, just be careful not to wish away the best days, the best moments, the best sensations, the best parts of your journey.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

thanks mel ... i needed that reminder as i often find myself wishing away THIS state of sleeplessness, somewhat annoying "quirks" of my children, the inertia of my brain on maternity leave, etc .... sometimes it feels like i'm always waiting for the next phase when everything will be perfect ... thanks for making me relax, breathe and attempt to enjoy the ride.

oh, and i'm sure your sleeplessness and my sleeplessness and millions of other parent's sleeplessness are pretty much the same -- no better, no owrse -- thus begging the question "how long before they are cranky teenagers who sleep until noon?"

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