Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Lessons from the Uterus

There are many things that being pregnant can teach a person. Big is Beautiful, for instance. But after spending two months on summer vacation and returning to work today, seven and a half months pregnant, two very big lessons stand out in my mind. And, these were lessons that I really did need to learn.

The first is this: It's okay to ask for help. I used to do everything myself. It was often easier to just do things myself than to ask for assistance. I hated waiting around for someone to have time to show me something or to help me carry something. Suddenly, I have no choice. I simply can not do it all, all by myself.

The second lesson though, is the one that has really hit home. If you know me, or my past blogs, or my sister or my mother, you'll know that we are efficiency-loving people and we sometimes go into hyperdrive or supersonic speed mode. We race around in what an inexperienced eye might call "a frantic state" when really we are relishing in the number of mini tasks we are completing in a given time allotment. Never do I use my hyperdrive more than when I am teaching. It is, in a strange and grotesque way, comforting and relaxing to me that I have this seemingly endless supply of energy and speed, into which I can dip at any given moment if necessary. When it's one versus thirty, or you've got two separate lessons to teach to a split class, using two separate projectors, supersonic speed is more than just your friend. It becomes indispensible.

Today, however, I had to take on an entirely different approach. I had to move slowly and methodically. Every moment had to be calculated, because my energy was not endless. And my girth has somewhat increased in size, which has added to some clumsiness. This new speed (if it can even be called that), would normally be excruciatingly frustrating to me. But this is my new zen state. I must be in the moment only - which means, contrary to my past teaching experiences, being in only one place at any given moment.

There may be a time for hustle again in my life. Likely when I am chasing a snotty-nosed, grubby faced, jam-handed toddler. But for now, I must surrender to The Uterus.

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