From Big Sister to....Just Sisters
Sometimes I fool myself into thinking that Mary and I have grown out of the “big sister/little sister” roles. I guess since we’re both married and grown up, we SHOULD have abandoned those roles. And I guess sometimes I want to believe we have because I was such a frickin’, crazy, bossy, know-it-all big sister (heh heh – I used past tense there). So I like to think that now we’re “just sisters” and we learn from each other (and we do) and since she got married two years earlier than me and has traveled to several far-away places where I’ve never been that I would have embraced the idea that she is a grown up who is competent and wise and independent.
Then something will come up, like the idea of purchasing a house. And she’ll send me a listing for a lovely house. And if we were really “just sisters”, I would say, “oooooh, it’s got such a gorgeous backyard and a beautiful fence… I can just SEE the sunflowers you’ll plant there” or “the fuscia wallpaper in the living room HAS to go, but that’s nothing a little elbow grease can’t fix”. That’s exactly what I should have said. That’s the kind of whimsical encouragement I was supposed to offer (and I am actually capable of offering these day-dreamy comments to any of my other friends). Instead, I turned into control-freak, know-it-all big sister. I knew that it was happening and I knew it was going to come off as insensitive and cold and insulting (it was all of those), but I figured out the monthly payments on a house of that price and sent it off in a matter-of-fact fashion without considering the fact that she has already spoken to a mortgage broker and her husband’s parents have renovated a multitude of houses and she’s not even ACTIVELY looking for a house right now!
All I can say is “I’m sorry, Just-Sis.”I’ll try not to forget again.