Sunday, December 17, 2006
Building a Gingerbread House
I had high expectations for building my gingerbread house.
I told people about it all week, that’s how excited I was. I drew up the plans and cut the template out of cardboard. After it was over…. all over… and I recounted the story to my sister with dismay, she said, “Don’t you remember how awful it was building gingerbread houses when we were kids?”
I guess I remember it being tough. And I remember having an ugly house when it was over. But I don’t remember it being stressful like last night turned out to be.
Anyway, here is the finished product. Don’t smash it the way you’re supposed to break a gingerbead house, as there are load-bearing drinking glasses inside holding up walls. If you look carefully, on the steeple of the roof, there is a gummy bear with a huge glob of icing on his chest – he is Santa and that is his beard. The chimney was supposed to be 3D, but I got pissed off and ate one of the pieces in anger. Then I put a single representative chimney piece on the roof and it slid right down the side. The walls all look like they’re going to cave in (indeed they did many times last night), but I assure you they are now completely gooped with icing and stuck firmly. They’re not exactly square, but I think it’s ridiculous to hope a piece of baked cookie will retain its right angles when baked. It should only be a problem if the gingerbread house residents try to hang pictures. That thing out front is a mailbox. And who would have thought that gummy worms wouldn’t make good door frames?