Melissa's Place

Babies R Us

Babies R Us has the largest variety of baby gear, comparable to say, The Bay or Sears. So I decided that that was an advantage and made an executive decision to register for baby stuff there.

I logged onto the website. The convenience of being able to shop from home was alluring and gave me a false sense of security.

There were categories like “Breast Feeding” and “Bottle Feeding” and “Travel” and there was even a “New Parent’s Checklist”. All this seemed reasonable and good.

I thought I’d first look at diaper bags. Did you know there are four subcategories?! There are backpacks, sling & messengers, totes and diaper bags for dad! If you get a diaper bag for Dad, do you have to get a second one for Mum? And do you seriously transfer stuff each time you go out depending on who is carrying the damn thing?

There are carriers. Some are called front carriers and some are called back carriers. Some are called slings. Baby Bjorn is a very jargon-y word, but I saw something similar but it was made by a different brand. This begs a question similar to the “Is a tissue still a Kleenex if it’s made by Royale?” Does it matter? Would some mothers gasp in horror that I’d ever asked if it MATTERS if I get a Baby Bjorn made by Playtex or Jeep. And can all babies go in all those carriers right from the moment of propulsion from the womb? I’m afraid to ask. These may be very stupid questions.

And what the hell is the difference between a $40 wrap and a $60 wrap? They all look like a giant piece of fabric used to mummify the baby against the mother so they both can imagine a more peaceful time pre-delivery.

There are 3 pages of Playards. I have never even seen that word before and I immediately navigated safely away from those pages.

Strollers can be lightweight or full-size or mid-size or travel-system or jogging strollers. They can come with toys and accessories too. Some wheels all swivel. Some have only three wheels and others have four. Some have spots for car-seats to click into them. If I get the light-weight one that’s only $20, can my infant ride in it? It sure looks easy to put in and out of the car. Surely there’s a reason people buy the $400 models. When I asked Mark which stroller we should buy, he helpfully offered, “Buy one that looks like you can attach it to our bikes.”

But, by far, the most intimidating section was the car-seat section. There are infant car-seats, toddler car-seats and booster car seats. Now, I know enough about babies to determine that we ought to register for an infant car seat. But then I noticed that they were also selling car seat bases. And I began to worry that the car seats may not COME with a base? Do you have to buy them separately? I read through the descriptions. It didn’t mention that they came with a base. It also didn’t mention that you had to buy the base separately. Perhaps the bases are just for if you have a second car and want to make it easier to move the baby from one vehicle to the other. Also, there are combination car seats. These cost more money, but seem like a great idea. No more buying a second and then a third car seat. It’s all three types in one! Super, right? Well wait. If you’re going to have a second child within 8 years of having your first, chances are good your first kid will still need his car seats and you’ll have to buy another one for your second kid. Oh geez. And is a cheap car seat a dangerous car seat? Why wouldn’t everyone just buy the cheapest one if they were all the same quality?

At least I am smart enough to know when I am in over my head. I phoned my friend Jen who promised to go to Babies R Us with me and coach me through the registering phase.

As it stands right now, I have one item on my baby registry and that is a half-donut shaped pillow that I can put on my lap and it will hold me upright when I am too sleep deprived to do so independently.