Melissa's Place

Feces Face

Mark and I are Roxy-sitting. I’ve been bugging Mark for more one-on-one romantic time together, so Mark says, “Why don’t we take Roxy for a walk?” (He knows walks are romantic). Of course, I excitedly agree.

So we start walking.

Suddenly, Roxy is chewing on something hard. Mark has seen it in the instant before it entered her mouth. It is a piece of hard shit.

Mark is absolutely disgusted!

“ROXY!” He races toward her, obviously hoping she’ll just drop it. She continues to chew away intently with the turd in her mouth. Now if a dog eats something ELSE (anything else really) that she shouldn’t, a good owner will stick his or her hand into the dog’s mouth to retrieve it. It’s kind of grimy, but that’s what is done. I could see the thought cross Mark’s mind. Then he decided that although he clearly didn't want Roxy to eat the poop, there was NO way he was fishing after it with his hand.

He put his hand on her and she looked up at him (almost smiling) and continued to chew happily.

He lifted her up.

She kept chewing (let’s face it, by now she was almost done).

Then he kind of tried to turn her upside down and shake her, obviously hoping she’d drop it out of her mouth.

Roxy swallowed.

I was practically in tears I was laughing so hard at Mark’s horrified expression.

On the way home, Mark began to reconsider everything in his pre-existing dog-owning schema, “I might not be ready for a dog yet, Melissa.”
“I understand, Sweetie.”