Sunday, April 15, 2007


29

I’m about to turn 29.
And I think I’m ready for it.
I know some people have a hard time turning 30 (although having a hard time doesn’t slow the process any). But when you turn 29, you suddenly realize you’ve only got a year to do all those things you told yourself you’d do before you turned 30.

Upon re-evaluating though, those were na├»ve goals. For instance, I thought I wanted to be married with all my kids by the time I was 30. I said that years and years ago. I wanted to have a house. I wanted to have a dog. I wanted to have already written a Pulitzer-prize-winning novel. I wanted to be as skinny as I was when I was 16. I wanted to live next door to my sister. I had an idea of where I’d be at 30, dreamed up when I was a lot younger. And although a little girl HAS to dream and fantasize about the life she’ll lead, there are things she can’t possibly know when she’s that young.

First of all, you just can’t live next door to your sister. She has dreams and I have dreams and they aren’t the same – right now they aren’t even in the same country. I haven’t written a Pultizer-prize-winning novel, but I have started to regularly blog as practice for that feat. And I’ve been busy inspiring and being inspired by young minds.

At 17, I thought being skinny would make me happy. How could I know that losing 5 pounds could never compare to the victory of having finished a race that seemed unattainable. I’m 29 and I’m engaged to one of the most wonderful men I know. I feel lucky every single day. I used to think I wanted flowers every day. I’d much rather be reminded every day through some small gesture that the man I’m with has vision and sensitivity and care for people beyond himself. And how could I know when I was 17 that a woman can be all those things she dreamed of – married, living in a beautiful house, with kids – and still feel absolutely alone. Living in a basement, unmarried, with the man I love, with no dog, with one car, just happy to have our own laundry room at 29 might have, at 17, seemed like a less than perfect life.
Thank God I have the wisdom of 29.

I couldn’t be happier.

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