The Best Baby Poops
(This goes out to my friends Whibbsy, Nej and Dach and all other parents of younguns, but especially Nej and Dach who have had their fair share of poop adventures).
This is the kind of blog that forms itself over the course of an entire year for a new parent, on many occasions. I hope I don't leave anything out. If you don't appreciate this blog, count yourself lucky.
The Best Baby Poops....
...don't happen at night
...happen more frequently than every four days
...happen when you have a wipes
...leave no telling orange stain on the back of a onesie
...don't catapult towards the bedroom wall/door
...don't accidentally get on your knuckle and you don't it realize right away
...don't happen on an airplane
...require no suppository to assist in their deliverance
...don't happen in the bath tub
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Cole's 12 month (and three week) doctor's appointment
Mark took Cole to his one year appointment. Apparently, Cole was a good boy up until the moment the needle came out. I can't blame him.
Highlights: When the doctor asked Mark if Cole crawls or bum scoots yet and if he can stand unassisted.
Stats: 24 pounds, 32 inches tall
Mark took Cole to his one year appointment. Apparently, Cole was a good boy up until the moment the needle came out. I can't blame him.
Highlights: When the doctor asked Mark if Cole crawls or bum scoots yet and if he can stand unassisted.
Stats: 24 pounds, 32 inches tall
Monday, November 23, 2009
Black Matrix
C-dawg drives a Black Matrix. It's a very new model. I'd recognize it anywhere.
In fact I did. Recognize it that is. At the stop lights of Southdown and Truscott. In the left-turning lane. Directly in front of me. At 7:45 a.m. on a Friday.
What are the odds? How many black matrices (?) can there be out there? Waiting to turn down the road where our school is located? We were waiting in the left-turning lane for a long time. Long enough for me to contemplate the shape of the driver's head and shoulders. Long enough for me to stare at the beautifully manicured eyebrows and the hair line. Long enough for me to squint into the side mirror even, in hopes of a different vantage point. Long enough for me to wonder whether C-dawg has an air freshener dangling from the rear-view mirror and whether she's raised the middle back seat head rest.
C-dawg has a dog. Of course she has an air freshener.
I honk a friendly honk, just a half second before the light turns. Timed almost too perfectly, the startled looking eyes think I'm impatient (or have ESP). There's no friendly wave or even recognition. She just thinks I'm some jerk who's honked at her. This bothers me. She's probably swearing at me right now. Or she's really panicked that she's done something terribly erroneous.
I have to right this wrong.
We're turning the corner. I honk again. Louder this time. She'll HAVE to look behind now. At least before I veer off into the Tim Hortons parking lot.
And then there's a glance in her rear-view. But no wave!
Oh hell. Now she'll be good and angry.
Oh well. I'm off the road now and into the coffee shop.
A few minutes later, I pull into the school's parking lot and, of course, there is C-dawg's Black Matrix.
My suspicions are confirmed. I breathe a small sigh of relief. I play over in my head how it will go. I'll saunter into her classroom and say, "Who was the jackass honking at you?" And she'll look puzzled for only a second until she cracks into hysterical laughter as she realizes it was me all along.
I get out of my car.
Then I realize there is one more question I'll need to ask her.
"Did you remove the air freshener from your rearview since you arrived this morning?"
C-dawg drives a Black Matrix. It's a very new model. I'd recognize it anywhere.
C-dawg drives a Black Matrix. It's a very new model. I'd recognize it anywhere.
In fact I did. Recognize it that is. At the stop lights of Southdown and Truscott. In the left-turning lane. Directly in front of me. At 7:45 a.m. on a Friday.
What are the odds? How many black matrices (?) can there be out there? Waiting to turn down the road where our school is located? We were waiting in the left-turning lane for a long time. Long enough for me to contemplate the shape of the driver's head and shoulders. Long enough for me to stare at the beautifully manicured eyebrows and the hair line. Long enough for me to squint into the side mirror even, in hopes of a different vantage point. Long enough for me to wonder whether C-dawg has an air freshener dangling from the rear-view mirror and whether she's raised the middle back seat head rest.
C-dawg has a dog. Of course she has an air freshener.
I honk a friendly honk, just a half second before the light turns. Timed almost too perfectly, the startled looking eyes think I'm impatient (or have ESP). There's no friendly wave or even recognition. She just thinks I'm some jerk who's honked at her. This bothers me. She's probably swearing at me right now. Or she's really panicked that she's done something terribly erroneous.
I have to right this wrong.
We're turning the corner. I honk again. Louder this time. She'll HAVE to look behind now. At least before I veer off into the Tim Hortons parking lot.
And then there's a glance in her rear-view. But no wave!
Oh hell. Now she'll be good and angry.
Oh well. I'm off the road now and into the coffee shop.
A few minutes later, I pull into the school's parking lot and, of course, there is C-dawg's Black Matrix.
My suspicions are confirmed. I breathe a small sigh of relief. I play over in my head how it will go. I'll saunter into her classroom and say, "Who was the jackass honking at you?" And she'll look puzzled for only a second until she cracks into hysterical laughter as she realizes it was me all along.
I get out of my car.
Then I realize there is one more question I'll need to ask her.
"Did you remove the air freshener from your rearview since you arrived this morning?"
C-dawg drives a Black Matrix. It's a very new model. I'd recognize it anywhere.
White Intrepid
White Intrepid often drives independently without assistance. White Intrepid occasionally follows safe driving practices. White Intrepid often requires reminders to signal when changing lanes, drive the speed limit and generally not drive like a self-centred asshole. Next Steps: White Intrepid is encouraged to consider seeking further assistance in continuing to improve in the areas of not throwing empty water bottles out of open windows of moving vehicle, thereby creating dangerous driving and environmental situations for other drivers and future generations. White Intrepid needs to attempt to be less of a self-induglent, ego-centrical, short-sighted prick.
White Intrepid often drives independently without assistance. White Intrepid occasionally follows safe driving practices. White Intrepid often requires reminders to signal when changing lanes, drive the speed limit and generally not drive like a self-centred asshole. Next Steps: White Intrepid is encouraged to consider seeking further assistance in continuing to improve in the areas of not throwing empty water bottles out of open windows of moving vehicle, thereby creating dangerous driving and environmental situations for other drivers and future generations. White Intrepid needs to attempt to be less of a self-induglent, ego-centrical, short-sighted prick.
Sunday, November 08, 2009
Happy Birthday to Cole.
A year ago right now, Mommy was asking a nurse for her epidural please.
All Cole's Grandmas
From Left to Right: Nana, Kokum, Porpor and Grandma Kathy
Rock'n'Roll Riding Horse
I've always wanted a big box like this!
This envelope is AWESOME!
Happy Birthday to You!
Cole seemed to know what to do with the cupcake right away. I wonder where he gets that from?
How does this work?
A year ago right now, Mommy was asking a nurse for her epidural please.
All Cole's Grandmas
From Left to Right: Nana, Kokum, Porpor and Grandma Kathy
Rock'n'Roll Riding Horse
I've always wanted a big box like this!
This envelope is AWESOME!
Happy Birthday to You!
Cole seemed to know what to do with the cupcake right away. I wonder where he gets that from?
How does this work?
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