Watch for Corners

Today I went for yet another ultrasound. And I watched the technician's face very intently when she first put the wand to my gooped-up belly. You see, yesterday, I'd been carrying a basket of laundry, kind of against my right side and my hip when I'd taken a corner a bit too tight and had rammed myself into the doorway. All day I tried to poke and prod the unborn Peron to see if he was still unharmed and he hadn't really said anything back.

Turns out he's a tough little bugger. Good thing 'cause his mum is kind of clumsy.

Adventures in Sunday School

My sister wrote these little anecdotes in an e-mail to me. Rhys is her nephew.

I was a helper in Sunday school yesterday - I haven't done Sunday school in about a year so it was really fun to be there. Rhys was extra entertaining to me... the kids started out by going around the circle and saying their names and something they liked about God. Rhys said he likes that God makes circles. Apparently that morning when the family had been driving to church Rhys pointed at some circle-type shapes in the clouds and asked if God made those circles, so Jon said yes, he had.

At the end of the morning they all decided to play telephone and it was Rhys' first time and at first he was very confused and couldn't quite understand what people were trying to whisper to him. Then, once he figured it out, the whisper would come to him and he would yell it out because he was so excited that he understood what was being said. The other kids kept going, "Ah, Rheeeee-eeees" because he kept breaking up the telephone. Finally, they just put him at the end so that it was okay for him to yell out the word.

Also, at one point the kids drew pictures of ways that we can worship God and then they stuck them all up on the wall. Rhys was drawing a picture that was really just scribbles so I decided to ask him about a way we can worship God. He said, "Some people worship God in Spanish!" And then he got really excited and loud and yelled to Sara across the room, "Some people worship God in Spanish, Sara!"

Like a Good Neighbour....

On Saturday, with the looming threat of rain, I decided I had wasted far too much precious rainwater and it was time to connect my rain barrel to the eavestrough system of my house. Mark was down in the t.v. room and asked me several times if I needed help.
"Nope," I insisted and headed outside.

I marched across the road and borrowed a little three-step ladder of sorts from the Pilons and lugged it back to our place. I ran all around the house trying to find the right screw driver and again Mark called to me, "Need help?"
"Nope," I called back.

Outside, I set the ladder not quite directly underneath the spot where I would be disconnecting the eaves trough from what I call the downspout. There are round rocks directly below and I worried this would be unsafe because the ladder wouldn't be stable. So I had the ladder on flat brick and I had to climb to the top and reach a bit to unscrew the downspout. While I was doing so, I felt small drops down my arm and I reached up and put my hand into the eavestrough and it was completely full of water. Obviously, there was a clog somewhere and the water had been collecting. What I did not realize immediately is the weight of an entire eavestrough full of water.

When I removed the last screw from the elbow of the downspout, the eavestrough shifted a bit. I reached up to disconnect the two parts and dismally realized only too late that the downspout had been supporting the now-heavy eavestrough and as they came apart, the weight of the eavestrough pulled it away from the roof of the house. Luckily, I had my hand on it and I was able to hold it up (because there was also a tv cable wire strung from the roof, under the eavestrough, and to a large hydro pole at the back of our hard. As the eavestrough shifted angles, a waterfall poured down the entire right side of my body. I was completely drenched and very stranded.

"Mark!" I called tentatively, trying not to sound too panicked. I knew, however, that the doors and windows were securely shut to keep the hot air out of our air conditioned house.

"Mark!" I called again louder, realizing that there was no moving until someone relieved me from my precarious perch.

"MARK! HELP!" I finally screamed as loudly as I could.

"Are you alright?" a voice finally came back at me.

"Mark, is that you?" I asked.

"No. It's your neighbour."

"The eavestrough has come off in my hand and Mark's inside."

In moments, my neighbour Tim, was opening the side gate. I wondered for a second about the sight that would greet him. Pregnant lady standing foolishly atop a small stepladder, holding up part of her roof in her right hand, completely slicked down with rainwater and possibly an exposed unshaven armpit. He reached up and was able to support the eaves trough while I ran to get Mark.

When summoned, Mark heard the panic in my voice and immediately sensed an emergency. I have never seen anyone run up stairs so quickly. I think he was somewhat annoyed at being lead to believe there was an impending disaster when, in fact, the crisis was, for the most part, past.

The boys problem-solved and propped up the eavestrough with a shovel against the rose trellis. With both hands free, Tim said, "I don't believe we've met yet. I'm your neighbour Tim." "Hi Tim, I'm Mark," said Mark as they shook hands.

Then Mark went and bought a real ladder and cleaned out the gutters and hammered the eavestrough to the roof anew.

Yesterday morning, Mark went out to the hardware store and when he returned I was assembling a chiminea in the garage.
"Do you need any help?" he asked.
"Nope," I replied.

The difference between Men and Women

Mark and I went to a prenatal ultrasound yesterday and discovered that our baby will be (or is) a boy! Telling all our family and friends was nearly as fun as telling them we were pregnant in the first place.

I e-mailed my sister right away. She then phoned her husband, Ben to tell him the news. He was appropriately excited and said to tell us Congratulations on her behalf. Then, just before hanging up, he said, "I'm SO excited about the....chicken."

Mary had plans to make chicken for dinner. Ben was very excited about it.

Mary was not expecting him to say chicken. She was expecting him to say "I'm so excited about the baby boy!" She said it shocked her to hear the word "chicken". I guess sometimes men and women think differently.

Then they decided they'd nickname our unborn child Chicken.

Today, when I asked the class, "What is the square root of 144?"

R. called out energetically, "BACON!"

Big Straw Hat

I was in Zellers the other day shopping for maternity underwear, when I happened across a big straw hat. I thought to myself, I am often getting too much sun in the forehead region, I ought to buy myself that hat. Then I hesitated. Certainly there must be a reason why I don’t own any such hats. I like them, but they’re not flattering on me. What if they’re dorky? What if they’re not cool?

I pictured myself gardening in my big straw hat. I thought I seemed cool to me. And I thought of my friend Jen, who is very stylin’ and SHE has a big straw hat which she looks adorable in. And finally, I thought of an episode of FRIENDS wherein Rachael bought a lovely big straw hat and it looked cute on her too. I turned over the hat and the tag read Alfred Sung. That’s GOT to be stylin’, I said to myself. I looked at the top of the hat - it had subtle silver sparkles. That's GOT to be stylin', I said to myself. There was even a cute straw bow on the side. That's GOT to be stylin', I said to myself.

So I bought it.

I wore my hat for the first time on Thursday. And my friend Mao approached me and carefully asked, while smiling, “Is that your hat?”

I said, “Yes.”

Then he said nothing, so I asked, “Why?”

And he said, “I was going to make fun, but then I thought I’d better make sure it’s not your hat.”

Later, I found Mao and I said very confidently, “Hats are IN!”

He said, “That one?”

I told Jen. She pointed out that Mao was wearing a lumberjack shirt. She said not to take fashion advice from Mao. I felt better.

Then today, I sported my hat as I walked in the late afternoon sun to the library. I was wandering around the children’s books when a 3-year-old Chinese boy at one of the preschool computers (with the colourful keyboards) turned and made a toothy attempt at smiling at me. I smiled back. Then he turned his whole body to me (I was holding my hat in my right hand) and he said, “Are you a cowboy?”

I said, “What?”

He said, “You have a cowboy hat!”

Out of the mouths of babes….

Carcassonne

Carcassonne is a game made by those clever Germans. The same Germans who are responsible for the delights of the Settlers of Catan. Unlike Catan, however, Carcassonne has a different tone. It seems more cooperative than competitive.

For instance, in Settlers of Catan, especially the various expansion versions, there are many ways to "screw your neighbour" so to speak. In Carcassonne, you are indeed competing to have the most number of little "followers" on any given road or in any given city. However, if you happen to tie, you and your competitor each get full points. There is a nicer feel to the game. It is almost comical and I thought perhaps I was imagining the cordiality of it all. Until, that is, Carolyn was reading the final set of instructions on how to determine the overall winner.

The instructions indicated that we were to tally up all the points. The player with the most points, it explained, would be declared the winner.

Then it added, "If two players tie in their total points, you will rejoice in your shared victory."

Baby Chan Makes his Debut!

Baby Evan Chan arrived yesterday by caesarian section. Crazy athletic and kinesthetic boy that he is, he shifted from his head-down position to a feet-down position within the past few days (elbowing and kneeing mom in the ribs all the while) and the doctor's decided that a C-section was the best route.

He was 6 pounds and 9 ounces and all the Chans are healthy and happy.

Although I have no picture available at this time. Mom described her very first glimpse of him over the blue sheet in the operating room. She likened him to a purple yoda. Now she says he's a lot less purple and kind of looks like Alpha.

Babies R Us

Babies R Us has the largest variety of baby gear, comparable to say, The Bay or Sears. So I decided that that was an advantage and made an executive decision to register for baby stuff there.

I logged onto the website. The convenience of being able to shop from home was alluring and gave me a false sense of security.

There were categories like “Breast Feeding” and “Bottle Feeding” and “Travel” and there was even a “New Parent’s Checklist”. All this seemed reasonable and good.

I thought I’d first look at diaper bags. Did you know there are four subcategories?! There are backpacks, sling & messengers, totes and diaper bags for dad! If you get a diaper bag for Dad, do you have to get a second one for Mum? And do you seriously transfer stuff each time you go out depending on who is carrying the damn thing?

There are carriers. Some are called front carriers and some are called back carriers. Some are called slings. Baby Bjorn is a very jargon-y word, but I saw something similar but it was made by a different brand. This begs a question similar to the “Is a tissue still a Kleenex if it’s made by Royale?” Does it matter? Would some mothers gasp in horror that I’d ever asked if it MATTERS if I get a Baby Bjorn made by Playtex or Jeep. And can all babies go in all those carriers right from the moment of propulsion from the womb? I’m afraid to ask. These may be very stupid questions.

And what the hell is the difference between a $40 wrap and a $60 wrap? They all look like a giant piece of fabric used to mummify the baby against the mother so they both can imagine a more peaceful time pre-delivery.

There are 3 pages of Playards. I have never even seen that word before and I immediately navigated safely away from those pages.

Strollers can be lightweight or full-size or mid-size or travel-system or jogging strollers. They can come with toys and accessories too. Some wheels all swivel. Some have only three wheels and others have four. Some have spots for car-seats to click into them. If I get the light-weight one that’s only $20, can my infant ride in it? It sure looks easy to put in and out of the car. Surely there’s a reason people buy the $400 models. When I asked Mark which stroller we should buy, he helpfully offered, “Buy one that looks like you can attach it to our bikes.”

But, by far, the most intimidating section was the car-seat section. There are infant car-seats, toddler car-seats and booster car seats. Now, I know enough about babies to determine that we ought to register for an infant car seat. But then I noticed that they were also selling car seat bases. And I began to worry that the car seats may not COME with a base? Do you have to buy them separately? I read through the descriptions. It didn’t mention that they came with a base. It also didn’t mention that you had to buy the base separately. Perhaps the bases are just for if you have a second car and want to make it easier to move the baby from one vehicle to the other. Also, there are combination car seats. These cost more money, but seem like a great idea. No more buying a second and then a third car seat. It’s all three types in one! Super, right? Well wait. If you’re going to have a second child within 8 years of having your first, chances are good your first kid will still need his car seats and you’ll have to buy another one for your second kid. Oh geez. And is a cheap car seat a dangerous car seat? Why wouldn’t everyone just buy the cheapest one if they were all the same quality?

At least I am smart enough to know when I am in over my head. I phoned my friend Jen who promised to go to Babies R Us with me and coach me through the registering phase.

As it stands right now, I have one item on my baby registry and that is a half-donut shaped pillow that I can put on my lap and it will hold me upright when I am too sleep deprived to do so independently.